4 signs your marriage is still worth saving



4 signs your marriage is still worth saving

At some point in most marriages, it feels like you just can’t take it anymore. Usually, this only lasts for the duration of a fight. And then you forgive one another and everything is fine. However, there are more serious moments when you truly believe it is the end of your relationship. You’re tired of all the fighting and it’s simply too much for you. You and your partner are both miserable and you don’t want to even be around each other anymore. You’ve even had serious discussions about the process of divorce in South Africa with friends and family members.

You think it might be time to just call it quits. And yet, you’re not entirely sure. Although it’s on your mind 90 percent of the time while you’re awake (and at night it haunts your nightmares). But something is holding you back from making the big decision and signing on the dotted line.

You see your friends and family members getting divorced all the time. And you both envy and feel sorry for them. On the one hand, you don’t want to waste any more of your life attached to a relationship that’s going nowhere. On the other hand, however, you don’t want to just be another statistic.

So, if you’re on the fence as to whether to end your marriage now or try your best to make it work, here are four reasons your marriage is still worth saving.


You and your partner are both open to counselling

Just the fact that you’re willing to come together to seek help means you both still want your marriage to work, even though it feels like it’s completely broken at the moment. This willingness on both parts shows a glimmer of hope and might be a sign that there is still a chance that you two could work it out. Remember, marriage is hard work and there is absolutely no shame in seeing a counsellor to help open the lines of communication. You don’t want to end years of marriage without trying everything you feel you’re able to try. Of course, if you’re sure you want a divorce and only your partner wants to seek help, then there’s no reason to try. The same goes for if your partner is deadset against getting help. You both need to want to work on your marriage for this to be successful.


You have children and they’re happy

It’s said that you shouldn’t stay together for the kids. This is because your children will pick up on your unhappiness and it will affect them as well. Staying together for the kids is an outdated notion and is not often advised these days. But if your children are happy and blissfully unaware of the problems in your marriage, this means you’re able to still keep the peace around your little ones. And although this isn’t a definite sign your marriage is meant to carry on, it is a sign that things aren’t at their worst. If things are as bad as they can get, your children would pick up on it and they would be unhappy because of it.

Children are incredibly perceptive and if they’re still happy during your family outings and dinners around the table, maybe there’s a chance things aren’t as bad as you currently feel they are. If the tension hasn’t reached boiling point just yet, consider taking some time apart before you decide to end your marriage.


This is the first time you’ve felt this way

Let’s be honest, if you’re considering divorce six months after your wedding day, it could just be that the honeymoon phase is over. If this is your first real bump in the road and your marriage has been blissful up until now, this may just be a hurdle. People are quick to jump to thoughts of divorce if they’ve never had to work on their marriage before. But marriages don’t stay together without working through the difficult times. You can’t expect to be an Instagram couple forever. There are going to be times when you need to take a step back, breathe and tackle your problems instead of just giving up.


Your lives are so completely entangled

So, finances shouldn’t be a reason to stay together. Neither should co-owning a business or being invested in property together. However, these things will be greatly affected if you decide to sign those divorce papers. While these aren’t concrete reasons to keep your marriage going, they are something to consider if you’re not entirely decided on whether or not you want to permanently split. These factors matter, as unromantic as it may seem. If you think your relationship still has a chance if you work really hard at it, then maybe your lives and finances being so entangled is actually a reason to fight to save your family. Of course, this can’t be the only reason, as mentioned before. But it can be one of a few. For example, if you’re both willing to go to counselling, this may be another bit of motivation to do so.