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Marriage: from this day forward

MarriageMarriage
MarriageMarriage

 

Marriage: from this day forward

There’s so much excitement coming from a wedding and the emotions are overwhelming. But this is just the wedding day. You have a whole marriage ahead of you from this day forward until death do you part. It’s nothing to be scared of. If anything, you should be even more excited! There are just a few things to expect, prepare for and establish from the word go.

 

Communication

As much as life would be so much easier if you and your partner could read each other’s minds, you can’t. That kind of technology hasn’t been created yet. The simplest of concepts, yet often the most difficult, is communication. We are constantly having conversations every single day but when it comes to our partner, we assume that love has the ability to solve everything in the silence.

You need to verbalise how you’re feeling, don’t just give the cold shoulder or the high-pitched, question-inflected “No, nothing’s wrong”. This is the love of your life, you can tell them anything and they really do want to hear about your day, as boring as it was.

There is power in communicating with your spouse, even the randomest and most irrelevant nonsense is gold to your partner and the more comfortable you are about talking about the random things, the less hesitation there will be when needing to talk about more serious issues.

 

Logistics

You’ve just thrown a big wedding, have a honeymoon coming up and are seriously considering putting up your used VW Polo for sale. Hold the keys, take a breath and think for a moment.

Finance is a touchy subject at any point in every relationship but, fact of the matter is, it’s definitely time to talk. Whether you decide to get a joint account or stick to your own accounts and split the responsibility bills, you need to decide. See what the reality is of your joint income and set up a savings plan, you know, for babies and things.

 

Positivity

It’s not easy to be happy and positive all the time. Life is taxing and can be difficult but, at the end of the day, be sure to count your blessings. Don’t put unnecessary stress on your marriage by dragging your entire day’s stress into the house after work and holding onto it like there’s no tomorrow. Have a venting session, talk to your spouse about your frustrations, realise that it’s in the past and there’s nothing you can do about it in this moment, and move on. You’ve both had a long day at work and staying negative about the day that has passed isn’t what either of you were looking forward to. Shower the day away, walk back into the room and spend some quality time with your love. Talk about the good things that happened during the day and stick to the positivities.

And if you can’t find anything positive about the day, how about being married to the love of your life?

 

10 more minutes

Not 10 more minutes in bed in the morning, but 10 more minutes (minimum) in every day to spend with your loved one. This is an important routine to establish from day one. We are human, we all need a little bit of attention during the day and who better to receive it from and give it to, than your spouse?

All it takes is 10 prioritised minutes of sitting with your partner and talking about your day, holding their hand and giving them newly-wed kisses. If you have more time to spare, that’s great but it may not be easy to manage a lot of time every day.

Use those 10 minutes to relieve any tension there may be. Again, humans are emotional beings and need to hear an apology every now and then. Work out what needs to be worked out and never go to bed angry or upset at each other. You’re married for a reason and you really can at least try to work through it.

 

Traditions

Establishing traditions in the early days of your marriage makes it easier to continue the tradition to the end. Having a meal together at least once a week, date night once a week, bedtime routines, double dates once a month or starting up a hobby together are all mini-traditions that will keep the dynamic of your relationship fun, interesting and loving.

Traditions are things to look forward to in every day and maybe a special event once a week or once a month. It also saves you from becoming a stay-at-home couple that ends up “vegging” in their spare time. Your marriage is an adventure with new opportunities and experiences awaiting you so make the most of it.

 

Marriage